Want to see Zero Punctuation ad-free? Sign up for The escapist + today and support your favorite content creators!
Oh Yahtzee, you should do Diablo Immortal. It’s a bit boring and the camera zooms in too close, and it’s also the most insidious work of evil ever squeezed out of BeelzeBlizzard’s black, thorny anus. Sounds like you already know what you think, viewers. Why would I make myself miserable all week just to reframe established popular opinion through a lens of dick jokes and gradually change the title to something irreverent. Tell you what, let’s just list all the things I would have called it by now: Diablo Immortal, Diablo Immoral, Diablo Imoverishing, Diablo Income Statement, Diablo In A Gadda Da Vida Baby. Now let’s go ahead and try to spread some much-needed positivity instead. And you know what makes me happy: new indie games that I hadn’t heard of but really like. The Escapist has a shared list of games to review, which I always try to steal the juiciest carrots from before the 3MR boys get sober on Monday mornings, and Neon White caught my eye as it billed itself as a first-person speedrunning shooter designated. And I have a growing interest in speedrunners, mostly because I feel like someone needs to keep an eye on these guys before there’s an unexpected Mountain Dew shortage and they burn all our cities down.